18 Weeks

   Okay, so I am actually 18 weeks tomorrow but it's close enough and I have some extra time on my hands. I have found myself smiling off and on today and often chuckling to myself as I drive to my next college class for the day thinking about what life will be like once my daughter is born. I keep thinking about how she looked like a little lady in the ultrasound sitting there with her legs neatly crossed at the ankles. Even from those blurry black and white pictures I can tell that she is beautiful.
   My favorite past time now is just to sit and daydream about my little angel and how she will one day grow and mature into a lovely young woman. I am so young myself, everybody says so. In today's culture, women do not typically get married and have children at such a young age as early twenties. True, a few of my girlfriends from high school have at least one child but that was because they made poor decisions about remaining abstinent.  I, on the other hand, was already married and pretty much ready for that next big step, a baby.  But I am glad to be having a child at my age. I really wanted to be a young mom with enough energy and stamina to enjoy playing with my children outdoors or simply crawling around in the floor with them. And I also wanted to be young enough to have some memory about what life was like growing up so that I might be able to better understand what my children are going through as they grow up. Yes, things change. My mother grew up in an entirely different America than I grew up in. I suspect that this world will likely become even more hostile for my kids. I just hope that I will be able to provide them with a sense of stability and rest when they go through tough times first through my faith in the Lord, second through my absolute love and devotion to my husband, and third to my absolute love and devotion to my future children.
   I do not fully understand how I am capable of loving my baby girl who is snuggled comfortably down into my womb right now so completely, I just know that I do love her very very much. Perhaps one day, she will read these articles I have written and know that I have loved her even before she was conceived, and I will love here unconditionally for all her life.
   One more thing...we finally have a name for our beloved daughter. After much consideration, her father and I have decided to call her Ashley, which means "one who is as strong as ash-wood." Ash-wood is one of the strongest types of wood known to man. It is very difficult to cut. But once you make something such as a table or chair out of it, it will never break. In fact, you would have to work pretty hard to even scratch the surface of it. I think this is a good name. I want my daughter to be strong; strong in her faith in God, and strong in believing in herself that she can do amazing things if she sets her mind to it. In conclusion to this post, I have stopped to sigh and smile at the bright future in store for our little family.
   I am shacking with excitement and anticipation to meet you , my dear Ashley. In the meantime, I'll just enjoy your company in secret as I feel your little kicks and hiccups in my womb. For the time being, I have you all to myself and am very happy to have you with me.